Father's Day Ramblings

So I was thinking this evening...

Growing up, Father's Day was always a really tough day for me. It was a reminder of my Father's decision to leave his family for someone else and start a new family with her, and the fact that he was hardly involved in our lives at all. From the age of 12, I never received a birthday card from my father, and very few acknowledgments of any events in my life from the time he moved out when I was 6. I can remember very specifically being in Paris on Father's Day of 1995. I was sitting in the Louvre, bawling my eyes out with a friend over my absent father and did a lot of writing in my journal about him. I decided that day that he would not have that power over any day of my life ever again. I was 16.

After that, Father's Day had no meaning for me. I had given up trying to find cards that were generic and didn't express how my "father" had always been there for me, taught me so much, etc. It was nearly impossible to find anyway, and just created a lot of stress for me as silly as that might sound.

Father's Day of 2000, I was 21 and 3 months pregnant with our first child. Father's Day started to turn then, as the focus of the day shifted to my husband, the father of my baby. And the following year, when Joshua was 6 months old, it completely changed. The day is about the father that my husband is to our children. Unless I hear from my Dad for some reason, I don't generally think of him. Last year, I happened to find a generic card that said something like "Happy Father's Day, I hope you are blessed with all that is important to you." I bought 3 and sent him the same card this year, giving it very little thought.

My theory is, everything that happens to be, good or bad, makes me who I am. I like who I am, so I have to be grateful for all circumstances.

OK, I'm done rambling.